My Beautiful Despair
by Sephirayne
Summary: Sephiroth returns in Advent children. Cloud is fighting for his life and begins to loose his will to fight. Does Cloud see something in the Villian before him? Will he give in? SephXCloud One shot. Non-Con Warning and adult scenes.


My Beautiful Despair

By Sephirayne

10th Jan 2008

_Authors notes - Set near the start of battle between Cloud at Sephiroth in Final Fantasy Advent Children. A pervious intimacy is implied. One shot Yaoi, non-con, angst, CloudXSephy pairing. Writing from Cloud's point of view. Hope you enjoy it._

He had been dreading this moment. Finally it had come. He was staring into the face of his enemy. Those cool jade cat eyes stared right back at him. With a arrogant calm his enemy spoke with a soft velvet baritone, "Good to see you, Cloud."

Cloud felt the words and the familiarity sting him. He thought he had defeated him but by the sheer determination Sephiroth had returned. Cloud was knocked into the air by a smooth swing of Sephiroth's skilled sword arm. Cloud landed a few feet away and stood to contemplate this moment. He slowly glided his eyes up Sephiroth's striking form. He took in the slender figure standing deftly before him. Leather skimmed the toned body. Complimenting the athletic build and contrastingly dark against ivory skin. Cool white sliver shoulder armour reinforced his presence. Long silken hair flowed down his back, towards his knees adding to the otherworldly nature of his appearance. His soft angelic features belayed the insane evil mind.

Cloud used to admire this man before him and wanted so much to be like him. Ever since Sephiroth become a force of insanity and destruction, Cloud's view point changed. Cloud was forced to battle him after Sephiroth tried to destroy the world and become a God. Cloud had thought he had defeated him. Before him stood the unfortunate truth. Sephiroth had returned.

Cloud realised he was going to have to battle him again. In that second as he stood below Sephiroth, Cloud wanted the weight of the world off his shoulders. He, at one point, more than admired this man. They shared a brief bond as lovers. Cloud realised even then that Sephiroth merely saw him as a distraction. After all, what could a young grunt offer a first class level officer. Cloud held his defence. Sephiroth was dangerous and it was up to him to defeat him again. Cloud watched as Sephiroth spoke in familiar calm tones. Dangerous yet alluring. His voice echoed though Cloud's ears. No, Cloud wouldn't be deterred be his familiar sounds, his beckoning body.

Cloud was posed, ready to fight for his life. He felt once again the weight of the world crashing on his lithe form. He wasn't sure if he was ready to fight his enemy again. He had fought and won against Sephiroth before but he was prepared and had his friends. This time he was on his own. Would he have the emotional strength to fight him again? His inner question was left unanswered as Sephiroth bore down on him, sword drawn. Cloud reacted with instinct and lightening speed. He had no time to think as he began fighting for his life and all those on the planet.

, For all those on this planet. His mind paused as his body fought off the onslaught of the sword, Masamune.

Flying through the air, muscles aching at the power being struck against him. Cloud felt the anguish of all those who have already lost their lives to this insane madman. He felt the loss of all those close to him who had been struck down by Sephiroth's skilled hand. With each attack that Sephiroth made he could feel his resolve weakening. Cloud felt that he could loose this time. Sephiroth was so strong and determined in his goal. Cloud's body grew so tired but he knew if he would stop then the planet would fall. His mind slipped again. The weight of the world bared deeply on him. Cloud's wide, sea blue eyes found Sephiroth's green ones. He fell into the deep longing of them. The longing to be a successful god, the longing for the love of his Mother. Cloud wasn't quite sure but he found himself drawn to it.

Cloud found himself pinned to the cold ruin that used to be the Shrina main tower. His back felt the chill though the dark blue jersey top. He shivered at the stone presence and at the task that had laid before him. He felt in that moment the desperate battle between life and death. Somewhere in there he was beginning to drown and began to loose his focus. Instead, he focused on the being in front of him. He could smell the scent of Sephiroth. Rainstorms and vanilla evoked his senses and reminded him of brief exchanges of lust. His heart raced at the memory of pure passion. In that moment he lost all focus and wanted to be lost to all forms of responsibility. He parried Sephiroth's strike and grabbed him by the neck.

Pulling Sephiroth towards him he parted his lips and awoke the senses that had long been dormant. Cloud kissed Sephiroth with an desperate urgency. He longed to feel anything besides the cold.

His kiss was deep and longing. Trying to awake some other emotion in him other than the overwhelming sense of grief. In his fight to save the world Cloud had lost so much. Too much. He hated the burden that had been placed on his shoulders once more. He didn't ask for it. He would defy them all. By caressing his enemy's prefect lips with his own delicate mouth he would loose himself in the sweet rapture of human longing. His enemy was no longer human. He had risen as a God and with strength that matched. Cloud wanted to taste a bit of that power. Sephiroth had evolved so much since Cloud had been close to him.

Cloud pushed his tongue deeper into Sephiroth's mouth, forcing his way into the taller man. Cloud dropped his large sword and wrapped his fingers around Sephiroth's leather clad neck. He pulled the sliver haired soldier closer. Breathing in his scent, remembering their close passionate embrace. Cloud wanted to forget it all; the responsibility, the hate, the fate that weighed so heavy on his slight frame. Cloud nibbled away from Sephiroth's mouth moving across the soft skin he found a sensitive area along Sephiroth's jaw line. He felt a deep moan vibrate though the taller man's body. In a fleeting defeat, Sephiroth let his sword drop to the floor. Cloud surprised himself by not taking the advantage of the unarmed moment. His own private despair was growing. Encouraged by its swell he grabbed Sephiroth with both hands and swung them around so that it was Sephiroth pressed against the wall not him. Cloud didn't stop to see the surprise in Sephiroth's eyes. He was too enticed by the sin that lay before him. Leather bound and striking. A male built for combat. Cloud found himself awash with desire. The lust overtook his torment as he found himself wanting. His hands explored the prefect frame. He fondled the varying textures. Mesmerised by Sephiroth, he did wonder if the man had also been perfectly formed for sex.

Cloud paused briefly, he stared into the villainous eyes. He didn't seek permission nor did he want it. This man, no this God, didn't deserve it. He grabbed Sephiroth's neck and placed his other hand on Sephiroth's chest. The exposed part of Sephiroth's body responded to Cloud's touch. Pores tingled and fine hairs prickled. A gasp escaped. Cloud was encouraged by the sound. The rhythm beneath the skin resonated against Cloud's flesh. The simple human beat in the presence of a God awoke Cloud to the depth of his quest. He didn't want it any more. He just wanted to drink this being in. Loose himself in him.

He slowly moved his hand downwards. His fingertips brushed the edges of the long coat that swept around Sephiroth's figure. The leather of the straps that crossed Sephiroth's chest bruised against Cloud's fingers. He kept his grip tight around Sephiroth's neck. The hardness of the Shinra issue abdomadal plate contrasted against the softness of skin. Cloud was enticed by it. He reached the buckle that held Sephiroth's jacket closed. Fingering for a minute he decided to keep it shut. Parting the coat he reached in and found two belts that formed round Sephiroth's waist. Brushing past them he moved across to the man's hip. Ghosting the muscle with his touch. He felt a shiver flow past his fingers. He could tell he was getting to Sephiroth. Cloud didn't care. He just wanted to feel something besides the misery. Moving his hand down. He rested it above the leather over knee belted boots. Gripping and needing the tender thigh he forced Sephiroth to spread his legs. Cloud pressed his own smaller form against Sephiroth. He turned his hand inwards and forced his palm against Sephiroth's crotch. The heat of contact enveloped Cloud's fingers. Beneath the leather was a manhood growing in lust. Rubbing slowly, Cloud forgot about the desperate mission that lay before him. He simply concentrated on pleasure. Soft moans resonated in his ears. He held an undesired arousal in his hand. Encouraged by it he pressed and rubbed harder. The moans increased in volume so did Cloud's need. He moved his index finger along the zip of Sephiroth trousers. He felt the flesh beneath his touch begging for release. He kept it waiting for a bit longer. With his other hand he massaged the skin within. Feeling the Adam's apple respond to his caress he found his need increasing. Cloud pressed his own groin against Sephiroth's and began rocking with him. The sounds of fabric and friction echoed around the empty ruin. Cloud felt himself harden at the sensations. Beneath his own trousers his flesh begged for satisfaction that he longed for. In his two year solace he rarely seeked any pleasure. His body began to yearn for a long awaited release. Tension ran throughout his taught frame. Now was a time he could let go. He thrusted against Sephiroth's form. With careful precision he had managed to alien up perfectly so that both men would feel the intensity.

Cloud felt the heat growing within. By the simple presence of another close to him he began to feel again. He pressed his clothed manhood against Sephiroth's. A louder sound escaped the taller man's lips. Reaching down, Cloud brushed his hand against hips and movement. Wrapping a leg around Sephiroth's he used his weight to suddenly move them from the wall. Within seconds he had Sephiroth lying on his back. Cloud then straddled him, leaning forward he kissed Sephiroth forcefully. Biting and teasing. He tasted the sweet nectar of another. Gripping the leather jacket he moved it as much as the armour would allow to reveal more of the pale skin. Cloud bent down and nibbled the exposed flesh. Ghosting the nub of a pink nipple with his tongue.

Cloud wanted more. Driven by lust and the desperation to loose himself he moved down the strong sinful body before him. Hands gripping leather, skin and hair as he moved. Once his head was level with Sephiroth's groin he stopped and brought his hands down. With one hand he pressed down on Sephiroth's waist with the other he began reaching for the fastenings. With delicate fingers he gripped the zipper of the leather trousers. Slowly, he began to pull it down. Sephiroth gasped as the cool air washed over his swathed manhood. Cloud heard only the sound of the zipper, with each teeth release he felt his torment fight within him. He then reached in past the leather and cupped the manhood within. Even encased still in underwear fabric the sensation increased. Sephiroth closed his eyes and allowed Cloud to continue. Cloud then moved his hand in beyond the black underwear. Sephiroth was prefect. Impressive and beautiful. Curled spun sliver decorated above his manhood. Adding a distinction to the pale masculinity. Cloud remembered his perfection. Lowering his spiky wheat coloured head, he opened his mouth slightly. Anticipating the taste he wrapped his gloved hand around the shaft. He began to pump carefully. Evoking a surge of passion within him he drove down and encased Sephiroth's manhood.

He felt the presence within his mouth. The texture of hot skin brushed against his tongue. Cloud raised his tongue and pressed it against the underneath of the manhood. The pores reacted and sent pleasure along the tall man's body. Sephiroth may of created his body from the life-streams power but it could still feel the same way any physical form could. By forming it from Kadaj he could feel the same way as Kadaj did. Cloud didn't seem to be interested in Sephiroth's responses. He wanted to be lost to his despair. As Cloud worked he realised that his despair wouldn't disappear. He found that instead he was starting to drown in it. There before him lay his source of that pain. He desired control of it or to fall within it

Cupping the round parts of Sephiroth's manhood he felt a sense of failure. Deeping his intimate kiss he lost all reason. Moving his mouth around the masculine presence he licked the tip and nibbled along the shaft. His body demanded more. He caved and reached down with his free hand and began to tear at his own clothing. Fighting at the zips and buckles that held his own trousers in place he was determined. Feeling the fabric drop off him he gripped himself. Longing for the intensity below him he gripped Sephiroth's arms and pushed them above Sephiroth's head. Cloud stared at the sliver hair halo around Sephiroth. He was now lost and gave in to his despair. His torment was prefect and lying beneath him. Positioning himself he forced his own body to take Sephiroth's manhood. Searing pain stabbed through him. Yelping at the sensation he paused. Once the muscles relaxed he began to move. Pressing against the man inside him he felt his emotions flood around him. Sephiroth raised his hips to meet Cloud. The sensation intensified. Cloud thrusted roughly against him. Haggard breath escaped his chest. Muscles cushioned lust and forbidden passion engulfed him. The tall man beneath him lay as a symbol of his disappointment. Cloud felt only the pain of relinquishing his power. By overpowering Sephiroth all he had achieved was the simple bless of his own pain intensified. A warm sensation grew in his lower abdomen. Each time Sephiroth's manhood hit his prostrate the feeling increased. Cloud pushed his body closer making Sephiroth's penetration deeper. He enveloped the man below him in lust and desperation. Sephiroth's body began to tense at the stalking orgasm within him. He arched his back as the intensity increased. Cloud dug his fingers into Sephiroth's arms. Within moments Cloud felt a hot burst fill his body. Sephiroth's echoing orgasm racked through his body. He paused against Cloud's lithe body. Cloud relentlessly continued thrusting against him. He wanted to take all of Sephiroth's power into him. Bathe in his lust and his own misery. He moved his hands down Sephiroth's arms and grabbed his hands. Forcing his own head nearer Sephiroth's chest. His own pounding heart shaking his slim chest. He matched that beat with his own pounding of his hips. His cheek brushed against skin and leather. The strong smell seeped into his nose. Cloud's hard breathing attacked Sephiroth's skin. Cloud pressed his lust further. With one hand he moved it downwards. Gripping his own manhood he pumped it in rhythm with his thrusts.

As he neared a climax he began to realise his own strength and that he had been able to defeat this man below him. No matter this man's power he could find an elusive weakness. Looking up into those jade cats eyes he gained a new found purpose. He had allowed his despair to overtake him. Cloud was better than that. There were friends and a planet relying on him. Letting people down wasn't within him. Cloud closed his eyes as his own orgasm found him. Throwing back his head he yelled into the darkness. Muscles ached and he was spent. Somehow he found a new strength. By sharing his despair he regained his clarity.

Cloud stood up and redressed himself quickly. With a smooth motion he bounded towards his disguarded sword. He owed it to the friends that were killed to win. The target of his purpose rose. Skilfully, Sephiroth zipped himself up. Staring at Cloud, without a word he moved towards his sword. Cloud stared at the man as he moved. Cloud held his position. His break in battle forgotten. Nothing was said. Wind glanced against them as each other them held a pose. Cloud blinked back a tear that began to form. How could he have allowed his lust to overtake him. Sephiroth was no longer the man he once loved. Instead he was the source of Cloud's torment and a threat to the planet. A god gone insane. Cloud cursed his own body. His own passion and despair had betrayed him. Cloud knew what he needed to do. He must defeat Sephiroth if all were to be spared. It was a heavy burden but one that he was now willing to uphold. He raised his sword. He thought about asking forgiveness about his brief moment of distraction. Now wasn't the time. Now was the time for fighting for everything he cherished.

They rushed towards each other forgetting the brief lapse. Cloud stared at the face of his beautiful torment. Ready to do what was expected.

The End

_SquareEnix owns these characters, I don't. The idea is mine but I make no money from it. Just borrowing the pretty bishes for a bit. _


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